Serious Sam II [Xbox]

When Serious Sam made its debut in 2002, plenty of people figured that the old-fashioned shooter was dead. Sam proved otherwise as it eschewed story, character, and good taste to focus exclusively on shooting as many things as possible in a given span of time. Now Serious Sam II has arrived, and it's bigger, badder, and dumber than before. As long as players prioritize shooting over... everything else, then Sam is definitely the man.

Much as in the original game, there's no real story behind the action in this sequel. But that doesn't matter, at least from Sam's perspective. Serious Sam jettisons nearly every standard aspect of gaming in order to focus on pure action. Sure, there are some cutscenes and a vague thread about helping natives fight aliens, but the whole point is getting into the action. 40 levels are split roughly into two types: missions where Sam has to move relentlessly forward, and ones where he has to defend a spot against waves of enemies.

There are 20 weapons, most of which are beefed-up variations on the classic rifles, shotguns, and rocket launchers. Unlike most shooters, however, running out of ammo is almost never a concern. While one weapon may occasionally run dry, there's always so much ammo for everything else that it won't matter. And while the weapon select system isn't the best in the biz, the game does at least pause while players swap out armament.

So what does Serious Sam have going for it? Above all else, a graphics engine that can seemingly handle an unlimited number of objects of any size. If the original game threw dozens of enemies onscreen at once, this sequel can throw hundreds. At times survival is little more than a matter of endlessly spinning and strafing while rocking the trigger without fail.

That scalability applies to maps, as well, but since Sam throws so much stuff at the player, there's barely a chance to look up, much less enjoy any environmental splendor.

And indeed, though the graphics engine can handle dozens of giant enemies, it can't do so with much beauty. It's not that Sam looks bad; in fact it often looks far better than the original game. But for all their size and outlandishness, the character designs can be rather average -- almost rudimentary in places -- and with all those polygons dedicated to plentiful enemies, there aren't many left over to make them really solid or overly detailed.

What the game lacks in detail, however, it makes up for with variety. Most games make players wait for hours and hours before throwing out that giant spider; here it happens within a couple missions, and there are a dozen. That's a three-story spider, by the way. As things progress, the bestiary fills to bursting with everything from small biting dogs to creatures that tower over every building on the map.

There are a few things here that go beyond basic shootin', but none works very well. Take the vague physics engine for one. Granted, it does allow players to blow nearly every building and tree to pieces. But there's also the ability to carry around objects and place them in the environment, which has been implemented in the most basic way possible. When the time comes to stack a few boxes in order to reach a hidden power-up... well, just forget about it. Nothing in the world has any real weight, so the slightest motion sends large boxes flying, making it almost impossible to really use any object as anything other than a projectile.

Vehicles have also been added to the mix. But Sam doesn't have great handling on the best day, and vehicles don't fare any better than Sam does on foot. The controls are simplistic, and like any other aspect of the game, the primary advantage is an ability to fire faster and with more power. So while the game's vehicles aren't much fun, in some areas, there's really no other way to survive.

There is one exception: the giant rollerball. It was great when Jackie Chan used it, but with some spikes on that sucker, there isn't an enemy that can stand up to a brush with the ball.

Given the attention to carnage, it's really no surprise that Sam is a solid multiplayer title. Four-player co-op makes the increasingly difficult solo campaign more bearable, and up to 16 can play on the PC. But Xbox users won't find a deathmatch mode, which will disappoint many.

In case the point hasn't already been driven home, Serious Sam II is packed with simplistic, repetitive shooting. It's not for players who want to think, or even do more than twitch. But for anyone longing for a good old-fashioned shooter with a few modern capabilities, this is the game. It'll test the limits of nearly everyone. What's wrong with having to prove yourself now and then?