Get Your Girl (or Boy) Into Games
Oct 12, 2007
It's a sad, common scenario: You're sitting on the couch thoroughly dominating a round of Capture the Flag, when suddenly your significant other decides that it looks like fun and wants in. In your shocked excitement, you hide under a stairwell, brief them on the controls, then hand them the reigns. This is the greatest moment of your life...
...until it turns into a nightmare. Your better half walks into a wall and gets shot. They respawn, walk into another wall and eat grenade shrapnel. They respawn again, finally avoiding the wall only to get run over by a Warthog. This process repeats itself until your baby is shamed away from your hobby by the merciless taunts of hyperactive nine year-olds, never to pick up a controller again.
But what did you expect? You threw them into the deep end before teaching them to tread water. You didn't hone your 1337 skillz overnight, and neither will they. So before you give up on getting your sweetheart to share your passion for pixels, try easing them into your addiction with the following three-step guides to game glory. Before you know it, they'll be pwning n00bs just like j00. Success guaranteed!*
*Success not actually guaranteed. Void in the continental U.S. Good luck.
Xbox 360
Start with: PUZZLE QUEST (XBLA)
Guess what your mate is doing during those late-night hours at the office? Yep - playing Tetris. Or Bejeweled. Or Peggle. They try to hide their secret love behind rows of colored marbles; break through their multihued wall of denial with this deceptively mellow puzzler. It looks innocent enough, but beneath its approachable exterior lies an addictive role-playing game. If you can't beat 'em, trick 'em into getting hooked.
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Graduate to: CRACKDOWN (Microsoft)
Bolster your partner's ego by making the world their destructible oyster. Crackdown doesn't let insignificant issues like "plot" get in the way of its bread-and-butter: thrilling, over-the-top sandbox action. The more you play, the more superheroic you become. After a few hours, newbies will be bowling over criminal gangs by lobbing pickup trucks into their hideouts. It's hard not to let that kind of power go to your head.
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Now they're ready for: HALO 3 (Microsoft)
Welcome to the big time. Before even attempting to get into a Halo 3 multiplayer match, force your loved one to plow through the single-player campaign and thereby familiarize themselves with the game's assortment of weapons. Even then, they'll likely get whomped in a dozen matches before getting used to the maps. Whatever you do, don't be impatient: stay cool, offer useful advice when you can, and remember that at the end of this tunnel lies a lifetime of Legendary co-op.
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(page 2 of 3)
Our video games training for the uninitiated significant other continues, now focusing on titles for Nintendo's quirky motion-based gaming platform.
Nintendo Wii
Start with: WII SPORTS (Nintendo)
Duh. The pack-in party game has single-handedly turned the Wii into a pop culture phenomenon, and for good reason: it's perhaps the most accessible game ever. If you own a Wii and somehow haven't bowled, batted and boxed with your partner yet, you don't deserve to own a Wii. Or their love. So slap on those wrist straps and start swinging, you selfish weirdo.
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Graduate to: SUPER PAPER MARIO (NINTENDO)
The plump ambassador of all things gaming supplies the perfect pit stop on the road to redemption with this inter-dimensional platformer/RPG. Your honey will immediately feel at ease guiding the familiar mascot through an interesting hybrid of 2D and 3D worlds, stomping on Goombahs like they did when they were wee ones. And while they're laughing at the comical plot, they'll also become adept at juggling an inventory. That's-a good to know.
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Now they're ready for: METROID PRIME 3: CORRUPTION
It's time to put those newly acquired Wiimote skills to good use. The final act in the Prime trilogy, Samus' latest adventure sets the bar for future Wii releases with great visuals, wonderful boss fights and the best first-person control yet on the fledgling system. Though it's only a single-player game, Metroid Prime 3's twisty paths and interdependent level design makes it perfect for some helpful backseat gaming. After your lover rolls over the Space Pirates and saves the Galactic Federation, you're guaranteed a prime life of couch potato bliss.
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(page 3 of 3)
Our video games training for the uninitiated significant other continues, now focusing on titles for Sony's powerhouse PlayStation 3 machine.
Sony PlayStation 3
Start with: CALLING ALL CARS (SONY)
Shift into first with this fun, downloadable racer. Tight controls and straightforward rules - catch criminals and escort them back to jail - makes it a great tool for helping a newbie get used to maneuvering the ins and outs of competitive multiplayer gaming. Of course there's more to it than that, but with a learning curve this flat, it's the perfect spot for a leisurely drive.
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Graduate to: HEAVENLY SWORD (SONY)
Non-gamers often judge a book by its cover, so you might as well make sure they're looking at the hottest cover since last year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. Heavenly Sword features some of the finest graphics ever seen in a video game, with realistic faces, incredible architecture and simply stunning action sequences. And by fighting multiple enemies at once, your partner's crummy twitch response times are sure to skyrocket.
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Now they're ready for: WARHAWK (SONY)
Sony finally scored a long-awaited win with this exciting, accessible online action extravaganza; introduce it to your special someone and you'll be a winner, too. With its interesting combination of air and land combat, Warhawk offers a little something for everyone. It's certainly not a simple game - getting acquainted with the game's multiple control schemes, weapons and nuances takes patience - but since you'll figure it out together, chalk it up as 'quality time.'
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