Rumble Roses XX
Mar 29, 2006
Sequel to Konami's 2004 sexy-wrestler for the PS2, Rumble Roses XX takes so many simultaneous steps forward, backwards, and compromisingly sideways that even players with strong feelings on the original may not know what to think.
The good news involves the retention of the original's slick visuals, unapologetically fetishistic, oinker subject matter, tight control, and fluid gameplay. The even better news involves the new online competition. The bad news, alas, seems to touch on just about every other aspect of the game, to some degree.
The girls are still here, of course, in both their face and heel aspects, and in all their nerd-fantasy glory (the bad schoolgirl, the Asian squared-circle diva, the kick-your-ass cowgirl, the American Idol reject, etc.). In fact, they're all a little too "still here," in that you've still got the same characters. It's a bit of a mystery: The folks at Yuke's had to be thinking of a potential sequel even before the original got its very first critical yea or nay...but even so, the level of obvious recycling here is particularly grating.
And oh, hey, while we're on the subject of grating: You'll be either totally relieved or disarmingly puzzled at the lack of bonkers storylines this time around. Sure, they were tacky, but there was a sort of B-movie charm to them. Instead, Rumble Roses XX rather unceremoniously dumps the solo player into a do-as-thou-wilt mode featuring destinations such as a museum (fighter artwork), a locker room (costumes and options), and symbols representing the various types of matches/modes available once you pick a character.
One charitable way to describe it would be "freeform." Another better one would be "mostly aimless." Where should you go? What's your motivation? With no driving ranking scheme, it's on you to literally pick your battles, maxing your fighter's popularity until such time as you eventually get a crack at a title bout. What's a girl to do? Well, at least it's a good way to shop for costumes, until you grok what's going on. You will repeat this whole deal for each character. You are NOT here for the structure of the solo game.
The fighting itself, thankfully, remains intact, and even a little improved. Scaled-down version or no, this is still the Smackdown! engine, after all. Matches include singles, tag-team, three-way, four-way, and handicap matches, plus the Queens and Street Fight options. Queens Match is a straight-up match with the loser being humiliated in some predetermined fashion: If you win, make your opponent dance, strike an embarrassing cosplay pose, take a dive into the nearest body of water, French-kiss Michael Moore, or what have you.
There's another Street Fight match type that's a bit of a puzzler: In an already (by definition) scaled-down wrestling game, the designers have seen fit to include a two-out-of-three combat mode (in the vein of the most base, damage-bar arcade fighter). It lends some variety, but also has the feel of one of those DVD "special features" that turns out to be a gallery of not-particularly-new production stills.
In terms of pure mechanics, the combat has the most strategic elements you're likely to see in a gleefully nerd-horny ode to virtual catfighting this year. Submissions are tagged to individual parts of the body (therefore localized damage is a factor), and of course, the humiliation element allows for the kinds of sexy/unnecessary finishing moves that are, in the end, why any of us are playing this particular game in the first place. Embrace your inner Oink.
The AI opponents quickly become predictable, as they will in most games, but the online play option at least solves that with lag-free play against live opponents. There's also some indefinable added humiliation when your virtual hot chick has just bested another virtual hot chick, while both are clearly being played by male gamers, firmly rooted in bean-bag chairs.
If that visual doesn't give you the chicken-skin, consider the detail given to the customization of one's fighter -- not only the obvious dress-up aspects, but even body modification and the photoshoot ability, whereby players can take posed pics of their virtual girls and trade them with other pasty shut-ins around the world.
Bottom line: If you liked Rumble Roses for its actual gameplay (with some grudging admiration for its aesthetics), there is more to like in its successor. It's puzzling and disappointing that the single-player game seems as neglected as it does, but it's a basically solid, pretty package with some new diversions for veterans. Enter the ring knowing it's a "v1.5" rather than a true "2.0," and you won't feel sucker-punched.