Hail to the Chimp: Daisy vs. Floyd

Gamecock's Hail to the Chimp takes America's favorite pastime (listening to the stump speeches of presidential hopefuls) and turns it into a videogame. When The Lion is dethroned, the rest of the animal kingdom goes ape over the change to be named king. The animals compete in knock-down brawls to become the new king.

Over the next few weeks, we'll profile the ten contenders and let you pick who should win each contest. Be sure to check back each week for a new set of politicians.

Name: Daisy

Species: Platypus

Party: Platytude

Daisy is the host of the most popular animal children's show in Australia - in fact it's an international smash, with young fans of every species around the globe. It's not entirely surprising that she has thrown her hat in the political ring - that's pretty much the only way she could possibly get any bigger. Daisy's position is that the animal world has changed, and needs the multifaceted perspective that only comes from being a freakish amalgam of duck, beaver and scorpion.

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Name: Floyd

Species: Walrus

Party: Sound Mind

Floyd moved to New York to be a dock foreman, which amounted to hanging around the docks waiting for food to fall off boats. Then one day he took a nasty blow to the head and ever since has had some funny ideas about his place in the world. Floyd claims to be in contact with beings of pure sonic energy who speak in parables. In fact the parables are lyrics from classic rock tunes, which he hears via a transistor radio he found. He's now a guru and soothsayer, which fits his existing work ethic quite nicely.

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Now that you know two more candidates, it's time to cast your ballot. Whom would you rather see sworn in as king, Floyd or Daisy?

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