Rampage: Total Destruction [GC]

Rampage is one of the many beloved old-school arcade series that keeps trying to relive its former glory. Having monsters destroy thriving cityscapes is one of the better video game ideas in history, and the original mixed multiplayer fun and cathartic violence to become an all-time favorite. With Rampage: Total Destruction, the franchise is aiming towards a younger and/or more audience, but still struggles to hit the mark.

Scum Chemicals is test marketing a new carbonated beverage. Perhaps borrowing from a Simpsons episode, the results are great taste, some monsterism. This leaves all 30 or so taste-testers mutated into gigantic freaks. The corporation tries to contain this potential public relations nightmare by sealing the "monsters of mass destruction" in cryo-tubes, and scattering them around the world. A few break free, however, and wreak havoc like only colossal beasts can.

In campaign mode, you pick a character and bust up eight to ten blocks of the world's biggest cities. Each location has a boss, unlockable monsters to find, as well as opportunities to upgrade your existing freak show's moves. These welcome additions will likely keep you playing longer, and bring the Rampage franchise closer to the 21st Century in terms of game design.

Too bad the gameplay is still circa 1990. Midway and developer Pipeworks struggled to decide what to do -- either keep the mechanics retro, or totally redo it for the 3D world. The result is an ill-conceived amalgamation of both that never really hits its stride. Instead of straight-up 2D sidescrolling, you can travel along a plane of depth -- going into the background or closer toward the camera. The perspective is deceiving enough that you'll struggle to destroy passing vehicles or grab miniscule police officers firing at you. Don't even try figuring out how to take out attack choppers; maybe that's why the damage that enemies cause is tuned so low.

Rampage: Total Destruction fares better when you're scaling buildings. Now, you can climb along the face of skyscrapers, instead of being relegated to the sides. It's not a perfect mechanic, but at the very least it allows for larger structures like stadiums and giant hotels. Neutralizing this cool factor is the abundance of distractions hidden in the buildings. Almost every windowpane you punch through has a food item or person behind it. While the animations when a giant fish eats a hot pepper elicit a chuckle, that's not why we're playing the game. We want destruction, and there are too many diversions from that goal.