Princess Bride

Westley

Although Westley begins the story as a humble farmhand, besotted with his bossy mistress Buttercup, he soon leaves the agricultural trade behind and sets off to make himself a man worthy of her love. Not everything turns out according to his plan, however. After an attack by the Dread Pirate Roberts, Westley is believed lost at sea. But unbeknown to Buttercup, Roberts takes a shine to the young lad, teaches him the arts of combat, wordplay, and piracy, and promptly names Westley as his replacement.

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Buttercup

Lovely Buttercup, devastated when her beloved Westley is reported lost at sea, commences an intensive course of moping, sulking, and generally being miserable. In Westley's absence, she opts to wed one Prince Humperdinck, the rich-but-slimy crown prince. A lifetime of banquets, fine dresses, and sitting about doing nothing awaits her --until she's unexpectedly kidnapped by the weaselly criminal Vizzini and his band of hired thugs. Robin Wright Penn, who played Buttercup in "The Princess Bride" movie, also provides her voice in the game.

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Prince Humperdinck

He's the Bad Guy. That's all you need to know. With a talent for regicide, a burning desire to start wars, and a distinct difficulty in keeping his word, Humperdinck is a decidedly nasty piece of work. He's only kept from the throne by his senile father's stubborn refusal to die, but that doesn't stop his scheming.

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Vizzini

A Sicilian with a taste for wine, wit and wordplay, Vizzini enters "The Princess Bride" when he's contracted by Humperdinck to kidnap and murder Buttercup as part of an elaborate plot to declare war on a neighboring nation. Despite letting himself get roped into such a hare-brained scheme, Vizzini styles himself as a greater thinker than Plato, Aristotle and Socrates ("morons"), isn't fond of Australia ("entirely populated with criminals"), and is full of helpful combat advice ("the minute his head is in view, hit it with a rock.") Although Vizzini doesn't have many lines in the movie, he's responsible for many of its most quotable moments. Could another actor capture Vizzini's charm? Inconceivable! So it's fortunate Wallace Shawn returns to lend his voice to the Princess Bride Game.

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Fezzik

Formidable ex-wrestler Andre the Giant famously took on the role of Fezzik in "The Princess Bride" movie, and his enormous bulk (not to mention his distinctive vocal style) would forever be associated with Fezzik's loveable, eager-to-please nature. Dubbed the strongest man alive, Fezzik threw in his lot with Vizzini, and follows him loyally -- although he proves to lack an appetite for killing the innocent Buttercup. Sadly, Andre doesn't return to voice Fezzik in the game, owing partly, no doubt, to his tragic death in 1993. And that's "all dead," not just "mostly dead."

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Inigo Montoya

With a friendly, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die," Inigo parried, riposted and -- if you'll excuse the phrase -- thrust his way into the hearts of Princess Bride fans. Driven by a burning desire to avenge the untimely death of his swordsmith father, Montoya was recruited to a life of petty crime when Vizzini found him washed-up in a gutter. Can Inigo stay off the bottle long enough to find the six-fingered man he seeks? Will Vizzini run out of patience with his endless rhyming games? And who came up with these ridiculous names? Mandy Patinkin, who played Inigo in the classic movie, also voices him in the game.

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Miracle Max

When you first meet him Max seems a little prickly -- endlessly kvetching about something or other, and always bickering with his wife. But underneath his harsh exterior you'll find a wise man who can make miracles happen -- if you can cajole him into it. Max proves instrumental to our heroes' cause when he fashions a pill that converts Westley from "mostly dead" to "alive" -- then sends the gang on their merry way to "have fun storming the castle."

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R.O.U.S.s

Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.

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Posted: 25 Jun 2008

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